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Seduction guide

This site is about the topic seduction and tips that i have learnt . I hope through this site you could gain valauble experience and information regarding seduction.

Eliciting values

Contents

Eliciting values explained - become the man of her dreams, just by talking to her
Trance words explained - say it in her own words (also relates to Patterning)
Calibrate the girl - and you can read her like an open book
Eliciting values - introducing the questions - how to ask the questions without sounding obtrusive
Eliciting values - the questions - so what questions should you ask?
Eliciting values - the answers - now that you know her values, it is time to talk about "yourself"
The perfect relationship - a simple value-eliciting scheme

Eliciting values explained

Introduction. The point of eliciting values is to find out what she wants in and from a man and then turn into that man of her dreams by providing her with it. What she gave you were means values, which means that tall in itself does nothing for her - what matters to her is how a tall man by her side makes her feel. And this is the key - for each means value you need to find out the ends value, which is what she really wants. Let's take the example of a tall man. Asking her "and how does a tall man make you feel?" might reveal that it makes her feel secure and protected! Aha! That's what she really wants! She wants to feel protected and secure, not a "tall man" per se. In practice, she'll reject a tall man that doesn't make her feel protected and secure right away, whereas you, who you might not be tall at all but can make her feel secure and protected, have just elicited your way to her pants.

Means Values vs Ends Values. Know how she recognises means values and what they mean to her (honest, kind and respectful in this example). Jake Thomson, ASF: "You learned what qualities she likes in a man - means values. Go for the ends values. Means values aren't worth as much as you think. Find out what emotions she experiences by being with someone who is honest. Repeat for kind, repeat for respectful. Secondly, find out how she knows someone is honest, kind, & respectful. She gave you 3 nominalizations that have a specific meaning to her, but NOBODY else.

Ends Values = Desired State. You want to find out a chick's DESIRED STATES and TRANCE WORDS.

M: So, what is important to you in a relationship?
H: Well I like tall guys. (Means Value)
M: *nod* And what feeling does that allow you to experience when you are with a tall guy?
H: Well it makes me feel safe and protected (Ends Value aka Desired State)

I think that the term DESIRED STATE is more clear and accurate than Ends Value. You want to discover which states that she likes to feel, so that you can create those states in her. In the above example, it doesn't really matter at all if you are tall, as long as you can make her feel safe and protected. So run a pattern that creates those feelings in her mind. (Of course this is done by naming the state and then describing its process...you guys know that already, right?). Note...a few common states that normally are important for every woman are comfort and safety, emotional connection, then horniness. If you only get the first part, you are a friend. If you get the second part (connection) then she will probably do the third part herself.

The important part is NOT what she says she wants (tall men, rich men, etc.). The important part is the FEELING that she experiences when she is around (tall men, rich men, etc). As long as you can discover the feelings that are important to her, and create them in her mind, she will associate those feelings with YOU."

An excerpt of Don Diebel's advice on not to talk about yourself but her: "By talking about her, you learn more about her which will be valuable to you in planning a strategy. Also, it is a subject she will be comfortable with. By not talking about yourself, you let your image speak for itself. And don't forget, the less women know about you, the more women want to know about you. Be a man of mystery."

Learning about her as a person is much deeper than light questioning, and the thing that turns chicks on the most is when they BELIEVE that you are into them because of some UNIQUENESS that they have. Something you see in them ONLY that you don't see in other women and which makes them extremely attractive to you. They think that men that are attracted ONLY to bodies are dogs, etc. By your deeper questioning, you seperate yourself from the other suitors because you make them THINK. You make them DIG for answers. They FEEL differently after baring their soul to you than after telling you where they got their hair done and how much it cost".

Rule 1. People, all people, to include supercelebrities and ultra-gorgeous women, have desires. But believe me, all people, gorgeous women included, ache for something. They have a heartfelt desire for something. That "something" may vary from adventure to feeling freedomm, to feeling respected (for the less secure ones), to feeling pampered, to feeling like a little girl again. It can be a large variety of things. But make no mistake about it. Everyone "aches" for something.

Rule 2. And this is cliche'. Find out what it is. Be sensitive. You can pick this up in the small cues that she leaks out. Be intelligent in structuring your questions to be such that you can uncover nice pieces of data. What you're looking for is "something" that she always wanted that she's not getting right now, something she "aches" for, but can't have due to some life circumstance or something like that. It can be anything. Once you know what it is, you can either you "fill" the void by using language patterns or "transform" yourself into the person that fits that criteria/desire/longing.

Rule 3. Fill that "void" that you've found. Use linguistic patterns to achieve this.

Rule 4. This is cliche as well, but anchor the fulfillment of the need to (guess who?)... to you! For example "Isn't it nice if you could experience all of that... with me, now I think it would be real grand if you could!"

Keep doing that a couple of times and soon enough you'll be her perfect man.

Example: One woman I was *not* really seducing leaked out that she misses her father (who died long ago). I then took that tack and talked about how good it feels to be a little girl sitting on daddy's lap and embracing him, and asking for the small "gifts" like a pony or things like that. Gosh...it worked. But it would have even been better to ask her what her father was like, to ask for small cues, like how her father talked, what he used to say to her, what did he make her feel and etc etc. Then, using that information and your power of acting, subtly "transform" yourself into her daddy. It might seem sneaky and underhanded to use her own desires to dangle the carrot she's always wanted but lets frame it this way - we're just finding out what can make a person happy and giving it to them."

Seducer... Romancer... these guys are the guys who know how to please, aim to please and live to please (though this does not imply supplication- no woman ever wanted a man she could easily control). These guys are the guys who know how to fill a need. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a hole. Fill it.

Trance words explained

When you are eliciting her values or letting her describe her feelings while patterning, listen intently to what she has to say and more importantly, what words she uses to express herself.

The words she puts particular emphasis on or repeats frequently are her so-called trance words. This means that by using the very same words she uses you will be able to tap directly into her consciousness and subconscious. After all, those are the words she thinks with and is most familiar with. And hearing you use them, she feels you understand her so completely, you are like a soul-mate, and whatever you say to her is much more likely to be understood and most importantly - liked by her:)

A rough implementation of using trance words would be to take what she tells you and feed it back to her in a slightly different robing using her personal trance words.

A more sophisticated approach would be to listen to and remember her trance words. And use them a little later:) And maybe in a slightly different context:) But the difference between this and the first method is only subtle - here you just have to use a little more imagination and have a good memory:)

An example:
You: "If I were to ask you, what's the most important thing in a relationship, how would you describe it to me?"
Her: "I want a man who makes me feel comfortable with myself" (you remember "feel" and " comfortable")
You: "Wouldn't it be nice if you could spend time with a man who makes you feel like you could let down your guard and just be comfortable? Whose voice soothed and at the same time stimulated you? I get the feeling that this could happen to you right now, with me."

Calibrate the girl

Before you can start making the girl feel good, elicit and interpret her values, reflect them back to her, experience states of pleasure and hornyness etc, you have to know how to interpret her specific signs of feeling either good, bad or neutral. So in order for you to be able to acquire more accurate data on how the girl is reacting to each theme you bring up, question you ask or direction you go with the conversation, you shall first have to calibrate her for her reactions.

Jake Thomson, ASF: "Find out, by asking, what she looks like when she agree's with something. Find out, by asking, what she looks like when she disagrees with something. Find out, by asking, what she looks like when she's nuetral about something.

Make a game out of it. Tell her you're practicing to be a 'psychic' and you want her to help you. Ask her to think of something she whole heartedly, enthusiastically, and strongly agrees with. It's irrelevant if she tells you what it is, matter of fact, it's better if she keeps it to herself. Then ask her to think of something she feels nuetral about. Observe what she does. Repeat this cycle two more times. Then have her think of something she wholeheartedly, enthusiastically, and strongly disagrees with. Go to neutral, and repeat two more times.

Next, ask her to think about anything she wants, and you, based on your careful observation, will tell her if she agrees, doesn't care, or disagrees with. Play that game for a while, then drop it, and move on to something else for a while."

According to Jake Thomson, you should use this to progress to doing a cold-reading of her palm (that is without any knowledge of palmistry) or analyze her handwriting etc by feeding her something and either deepening it if she shows signs of agreement with it or moving on to something else is she is showing signs of disagreement. But the principles of calibration described are applicable on a far larger scale than just as prep-work for a gimmick.

NYC, ASF: "I would always wonder why guys would ask "how do you know when she..." because in general, I ALWAYS KNOW! The reason I know is I basically give them a "lie detector" test before sarging them. What I mean is that I deliberately, yet naturally in the course of conversation say things that I KNOW will push them in a direction.

I notice how they are normally... then when they mention their pet cat or something, I might say "did your cat ever get hurt?" and watch her face change and her body change when she considers her cat getting hurt. Then I might say "Does your cat wake you up in the morning?" and watch her change to that too. Not those sentences or topics in particular, but since I don't talk BULLSHIT FLUFF with chicks, I get them going in all directions before sarging... unless it's just time for caveman kino:)

Anyway... by the time I am ready to move on them, I KNOW how they react to good stuff and bad stuff. When I QUOTE to a chick about getting a blowjob from some other chick in the past, she might THINK she is not reacting to what I said, but she is going through the same changes as thinking about her cat when she considers her mouth around my dick. She is either going to have the "happy" reactions or the "sad" reactions or the "I don't give a FUCK about what he just said" reactions. I always know when I am moving physically closer to a girl if she WANTS me to do it, is LETTING me do it, or HATES me doing it... before she even speaks. When I move toward her, she has to consider what I am coming over there to do, and it is OBVIOUS to me how she FEELS about it without her saying what she feels about it. This makes me look like a fucking CHAMPION because I seem to "sense" what she's feeling without her telling me. "We are so in tune blah blah blah...".

I think this idea is PARAMOUNT! If you can't judge what the chick is feeling... basically that is... pro, con or neutral... you are way behind in the game."

Eliciting values - introducing the questions

ask the right questions. For example, you could start with:

So if I were to ask you, what do you really value and what's important to you in a relationship, what would you answer?" If she replies with ends values (feeling loved, understood) - bingo! Be the one to make her feel that (by incorporating that into talk about yourself or making up a pattern about that). If she replies with means values (the means of achieving ends values - like a strong, brave man... to make her feel what? you need to find out!), do some additional asking: "And what does it feel like to have a relationship with such a guy?".

ASF: "Ask questions that get her to go inside & come back with values and criteria. Questions that touch on her identity as a person. For example:

"You know Debbie, most of the time we talk about surface stuff, like what we did last night at the party, or where we want to go next weekend, things like that. It's ok to talk about that stuff, and I enjoy it. I find that I get a lot more out of talking about who we are as people on a deep level, what's important to us, what we believe in, how we feel, and why. So I was wondering what's important to you in a relationship (or this class, or a friend, or…)?" Then listen to what she tells you… Stick to what emotions she's experiencing & why and you'll never run out of things to talk about."

NYC: "You must know who you MUST BE to fuck her. How exactly do you achieve that? It's very basic really. Instead of talking about bullshit with a chick or your porsche or your yacht or your country club membership... ask her about herself."

It wouldn't however be wise to just blurt out the questions, that might sound rehearsed (an impression you want to avoid like the plague, any signs of you having rehearsed and you're toast, unless she really likes you, in which case it really doesn't matter what you do:). It would probably feel more natural, if you introduced the questions in the line of a friendly, affectionate and empathic conversation. An example by Ross Jeffries:

"You know, I know in a situation like this, the typical thing is for a person to ask "what do you do?". And, it's not that I'm not interested in that, but I find I learn a lot more about a person when I find out what the challenges are in what they do. Because I know their are some aspects of what you do that are easy, and others are more difficult. Some are a challenge and others you can do in your sleep. With me, in my line of work it's the same thing. So, if were to ask you, what's the one aspect of what you do that's a challenge, either because you have to focus in to do it well, or you just have to focus in to get yourself motivated to do it, what would that be?"

Update. When asking the questions, NEVER start asking disconnected questions, that is questions on different topics. NYC, ASF: "...you can't get away with that at all. What you have to do is STRING your topics from TANGENTS from the original topic. Make it look like a continuous flow so that they NEVER END telling you about the first thing they started talking about.

you: what do you do?
her: blah blah working with kids...
you: the kids must be rowdy
her: yes they are hard to control blah blah
you: I used to be like that too... when I was a kid...
her: I had the same thing happen to me...
you: how old were you when that happened?
her: I was 13 blah blah
you: did you live with your parents?
her: no, they had divorced when I was 10...
you: damn... that must have been tough on you...
her: I learned to survive on my own...
you: my friend had that happen to her also... she likes to live alone now
her: me too... that's why I don't have a roommate BLAH BLAH BLAH

You see how "she" NEVER got to change topics? You keep changing topics based on TANGENTS to the original topic and it SEEMS like you are still asking her about the first question ALTHOUGH the topic has changed like 6 times:)

The WRONG way to do it however is this:

you: what do you do?
her: blah blah working with kids...
you: did you live with both of your parents until college?
her: no, they had divorced when I was 10...
you: do you have any roommates?
her: WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING 20 QUESTIONS?"

Update. NYC, ASF: "You have to APPEAR genuinely interested in her life. Ask her fluff questions about her life and move into the important questions from there. She will only tell this stuff to someone that she likes, so make the connection first, then get interested in her and she will be PLEASED that someone wants to know more than if she is a 38D:)"

Alternatively, instead of APPEARING interested, you can try BEING interested:) Jake Thomson, ASF: "I have an easier time simply being genuinely interested and curious about who she is, what she feels, what she thinks and believes and why than trying to appear that way. Also keep I keep my outcome in mind, am I looking for Ms. Right? or Ms. Right-Now? I'm willing to tolerate a lot more divergence between my beliefs and her beliefs with Ms. Right-Now, than I am with Ms. Right."

If she has a different belief system than you, neither do you want to start arguing with her nor to you want to agree with her (while you really don't). There's a way to turn the situation to your advantage nevertheless. Jake Thomson, ASF: "If we have fairly divergent beliefs, sometimes I'll ask her to try and convince me. I'll tell her something like, "I hold somewhat different beliefs on that subject. I'm sure you've got excellent reasons for what you believe though. I'm curious, how did you come to those conclusions? What convinced YOU? And, if you were going to convince somebody, Debbie, how would you do it?" Because what she'll almost certainly do is give me her strategy for convincing herself. As to just how that information might come in handy, I'll leave as an exercise for the reader."

Eliciting values - the questions

Here's a sample list of questions to use to elicit her values and trance words. NYC, ASF:
What she wants?
What she likes?
What she thinks she needs?
What she thinks she deserves?
What she had in the past that she wants to repeat?
What she had in the past that she wants to avoid?
What scares her?
What makes her happy?
What makes her feel sexy?

Ask the right questions, don't try to push her towards some specific state (like excitement for example), it might mean nothing to her. ASF: "Realise that "do you value excitement in your life?" is a useless question compared to "what do you value?"

Here are some additional questions you can ask, that might be a little less value-eliciting oriented, but helpful nevertheless. They'll help you to get to know to her and should also put her in an altered state by making her dig up answers for these from deep within her consciousness and subconscious.

"What are the challenges in her line of work / what are the easy parts / what she likes / what she doesn't like about her job?"
"What is the most unusual thing you've done when playing "truth or dare"?" Hopefully she comes up with some sexual stuff:)
"How do your friends describe you?" Use this both for value-eliciting and as prep info for palm-reading, after which you can say "Let me see, whether you actually are like that as well" and transition to palm-reading. See "Palm-reading" and "Palm-reading explained" for more details.
"What do you think I am like?" You'll get useful feedback on how you're doing and how she perceives you:)
"Your first childhood memory?" If its positive, anchor it, and even if its just neutral, never mind that, in her mind she sees herself as opening up to you when telling you about such stuff:)
"Your most pleasant / sweetest memory from school?" Hopefully has something to do with a guy, anchor it:) If not, be more specific.
"Your first day at school?" Same as with "first childhood memory", but don't use it before the "sweetest memory from school" - it would make it too easy for her to answer "well, my first day at school was it" and avoid any possible romantic memories:)
"In what period of your life where you most popular?" Have her remember the "good times":)
"Do you remember the first time you fell seriously, completely and helplessly in love:) How did it happen?"
"The happiest moment of your life?"
"What role would you like to play in some movie?"
"Achieving what goals in your life have brought you the most joy?"
"How well do you know yourself?"

If the answer to some question is not to your liking ("what scares you?" "mice"), elaborate on what you meant with your questions. And if there's anything you don't understand in her answer completely, specify and ask additional questions. Don't THINK you understand, be SURE you understand because that is the only way of:

1) making her feel completely understood by you
2) and completely understanding her - which is what you need in order to know how to make her feel the way she wants to feel with that special man of hers:)

Update
Don't forget though, that you have to be able to introduce these questions as a natural component and continuation of your conversation with the girl. Simply asking them out of the blue will make it sound like you're interrogating her or that you've prepared and rehearsed them beforehand (insincerity!) and once that happens, you're through.

Update
NYC, ASF: "You can tell when a chick is affected by kino OR talking/thinking about something. The subjects that she doesn't react to and the kino that she doesn't react to... don't bother with them. When you latch onto something that really phases her in the direction you want her to go, take her deeper into it by asking her more intricate questions about it that she HAS TO meta-state into the situation to access. She will have to LIVE in that moment again for a period of time. While she is in there you can make it worse for her by introducing worse scenarios than the actual outcome, or better by suggesting better outcomes or results from it.

So don't bother with the sections where they don't feel anything, but when you see them become affected, get into it as far as they'll let you. If you have done your connection and rapport, they will be GLAD to tell you that stuff and glad that you are listening to them."

Update
DC_GUY, ASF:
Me: Do you like living here in [whatever-the-place-is-called]?
Her: Ya, I guess.
Me: **Playfully** What do you like to do for fun? Do you have a lot of guys chasing you?
Her: No, not really... I'm kind of picky.
Me: Really? I mean, I don't mean to sound strange or anything... but what qualities do you look for in a guy?
***This is where you shut up and listen***

Eliciting values - the answers

NYC, ASF: "Do all this [asking questions, eliciting values] BEFORE telling her about yourself. Then selectively edit or FABRICATE your existence to always fit the things that she told you HERSELF are positive things and AVOID what she told you HERSELF are negative things. Some chicks like aggressive men and some like passive men that they can cuddle with and EVENTUALLY have sex with. Find out FIRST which one she wants and THEN project that image to her. What happens is that she notices that you are displaying many traits that she looks for in a sex-partner and none of the negative traits that she uses to weed guys out. She keeps thinking about this and reinforces it in her own mind and decides that you are right for her to fuck. In this situation, how you REALLY FEEL is irrelevant. You are tailoring your personality to her tastes in order to BE THAT MAN that she wants to fuck and she will see it in you and your job will be much easier than if you explained your true nature to her and took the "pot luck" chance that she likes ANY of your real traits. The point of that is you need to separate yourself from other guys talking about bullshit. Chicks hear the same thing all the time. If you can demonstrate that you are interesting and unique, she will WANT to be in touch with you and WANT you to call her. If you don't convey value to her (making her laugh, making her feel sexy, etc.) there is no reason to believe that she will give you her number when you leave."

Her favourite pastimes and hobbies can also be useful. ASF: "You found out something she likes to do, i.e. jetski. Again this is a means value. Find out what emotional state jetskiing generates for her. That way when you spontaneously generate patterns, you can tailor them to the specific emotional states SHE wants to experience."

Don't forget what you're supposed to do with the values you elicited. ASF: "It's one thing to ask a girl questions about herself and elicit her values. It's another to act like a tourist in her reality. I used to get involved with girls lives and be like "Wow, that's AWESOME!" about everything they did in their lives. Fuck that. When a guy does that, a girl thinks he has no life of his own if he's so impressed with hers." Seems like the value-eliciting has not been put to good use. You could of course either show her your world as well or just not be that damn impressed with hers, but preferably you should be doing what you're supposed to be doing with the values you elicited - you've found out the states that are important to her, now make her FEEL those specific states.

Update. Besides finding out and making her feel the states shel likes to feel, you also have to be able to represent the traits and values she finds important. NYC, ASF: "They always come up with TRAITS, not specific things. What they TELL ME they want is easily demonstrated to them through stories, and I don't have to tell them ANYTHING directly. I would never say "I love cats myself too...", I would tell them a story IN WHICH I demonstrated that I like cats. I let her derive who I am by telling her a story based on what she wants to hear in the first place:)".

The perfect relationship

A simple value-eliciting scheme (from an unknown source):

You: What's important to you in a relationship? A relationship, not qualities in a person...

Her: Well... x1

You: Yeah... that's really important to me too. How do you know when you have x1?

Her: xxx (talking about x1).

You: I agree... that's a powerful one. Well, what else is important to you in a relationship?

Her: x2

You: Yeah... xxx (talking about x2).

Her: xxx (talking about x2).

You: Wow...that would be great to be with someone like that. Well, what else is = important to you in a relationship?

Her: x3

You: Yeah... xxx (talking about x3).

Her: xxx (talking about x3).

Step 2

You: Of those three values - x1, x2, x3 - which is the most important? Which would you absolutely have to have?

Her: Well... xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3)

You: Well... I could see that. Of the other two, which is most important?

Her: xn (n being either 1, 2 or 3)

Step 3

About an hour+ later:

You: You know...I've been thinking that maybe we've really got the start of something beautiful here. And I think it's something based on (x1, x2, and x3 in order of her preference she provided in step 2).

She will go into a pleasure state, at the peak touch her and say:

You: Can you FEEL THAT would be a really wonderful thing to experience?

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A Few Words of Advice About Pornography and Dating Single Women | Bad Vocabulary Habits That Can Cost You Dates With Single Women | How to Create Stronger and More Romantic Relationships With Single Women | Head Games Single Women Play to Test Your Relationship | How to Handle Rejection From Women How to Seduce Single Women With Candles, Incense, and Fireplaces | If a single woman is not as sexually interested in you for romance | Should You Have Sex With Single Women Early in a Relationship? | The Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips to Impress Single Women When on a Dining Date | Where to Meet Single Women During the Holidays | Why You Should Avoid Getting Involved With Walking Wounded Single Women | If more than 1 girl is interested in you | Insights to women players | How to seduct niteclub gals method 1 | How to seduct niteclub gals method 2 | Giving compilments should you or shouldn't you | Hook up and shut up seduction technqiues | Isolate or musturbate | How to be a nice guy and still get laid | Eight charcateristics a man must posses to score with woman | Dating & love tips | Read body language Hot | Flirt Hot | players rules Hot | players tools | Handling the girlsHot | General rules Hot | Getting started Hot | ApproachesHot | Interested now What Hot | nightclub and dancing | group tacticsHot | Neights| Eliciting valuesHot | sexual talkHot | boyfriend problemHot | Troubleshooting|

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