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Welcome to Winder's
Singapore jokes
You'll find here the stupiest singapore jokes. Always with new updates...!

Ah beng speak up

Ah Beng talks about Singapore history and current affairs...

Under the 'ang mo' we all live happily together, no complain.
Malaysia & Singapore is one big family in our brains.
One day we both like 2 durians cannot get along.
Got sharp thorns, poke each other, until 'buay song.'
One moment like brothers, can give and take.
Next moment we kena kicked out by the leg.
Wah! Our towkay also cry like mad,
we all also feel very very sad.
Our neigbours all say, 'Wah they all sure to die!
They got nothing, how to get next bowl of rice?'

So 'boh pian,' we all work day and night.
We also join the army so that we can fight.
We don't care others 'see us no up'.
But actually inside we very pain in the heart.
Then slowly hor we grow rich and a bit fat.
Now others talk about us also got some respect.
They scratch their heads and say
'Very funny! Got nothing how come they can still make money?'

Last time also got no money to buy ice-cream cone.
Nowadays even small kids can also afford hand phone.
Sea port, airport also can become Number One.
He! He! Sometimes think about it also very fun.
But some people look at us also not happy.
Actually they jealous don't want to say only.
So every time their country got something wrong.
They all say Singapore's behind it all along.
Everybody know we water no enough.
They turn off tap only we all cannot last.

They threaten us with water supply and shout 'Cut! Cut! Cut!'
Aiyoh! They all think the water is one big ketupat.
We all hear already also 'buay tahan'
Wah liao, they think we small can makan!
But now they 'cow pay cow bu' we all not very scared.
We want to build water desalination plant already so not so bad.
But their own economy now all go bust.
Got to sell water otherwise money no enough.
Then another neighbor say Singapore no friend friend,
Got so much money, a bit more also donno how to lend.

They say we all only one small red dot,
like the center of a big dartboard.
Maybe they think we mouse and they cat,
that's why they suka suka anyhow talk like that.
But we all still send them a lot of rice.
Show the world we actually very very nice.
Sometimes we 'cho ho sim' also kena whack.
But we all gentleman wan, don't want to fight back.
I think hor maybe they don't understand us very well.
That's why relationship sometimes like heaven sometimes like hell
Some say aiyah our prosperity is all due to luck,
that's why we all siao siao' can still win the Tiger Cup
I think hor, Singapore is like chilli padi in a pot -
Size small small but still very very hot.